SPICE RACK REHAB: A LUMBERJACK'S LAMENT

This here problem is worse than a rotten log pile. My spice rack, she’s seen better days. Used to be well-kept, like a fresh cut of lumber. Now? It's a jumbled heap of dusty jars and shattered bottles. I can't even locate the cumin when I need it for my famous campfire coffee. This ain't just a kitchen problem, this is an existential quandary. I